15 January 2009 - Mood - oooh!

just an update.. on the El Capitan thing. I didnt realize that the photo's change throughout the day on here.. I just looked at the Ansel Adams pic again and this time it was the lower falls (a beautiful waterfall area in Yosemite).. anyway.. that's what the picture was just now.. and i guess if i look back soon .. it will maybe be another section of Yosemite ?? Hmm.. i add these things to say, in this case.. my blog and i dont investigate how they work.. lol.. so typical of me.. ok.. i'm off the walk the dog. HA.. that's a joke. He doesn't like getting his little paws wet .. and in the snow i certainly can't blame him. I mean.. it's not as if he has boots to wear on them .. so I'm sure he gets cold really really fast. I will write about my little vision of him in minature Ughs..or however you spell the name of those boots.... at another time. I crack up whenever I picture how he'd look in them. hehehehehehe

15 January 2009 - Mood - Stable

It was snowing pretty heavily when I woke this a.m. But it's only 10:30 a.m now and it has stopped already.. amounting to not much .. maybe 1/2 inch ..if that much.

I still haven't checked to see if I have this blog set up as totally private or not, but in the event that it is accessible to others, I hope that anyone viewing it takes a moment to scroll down to the bottom where I have selected two different pictures, that change daily to appear. One is America's natural beauty ...the outdoors. The other is photo's taken by Ansel Adams.. well known for his landscape photographs done in black and white. Today's was really nice. It's of El Capitan, which is a centerpiece of sorts in Yosemite Nat'l Park. I saw it when visiting Yosemite on my honeymoon back in 1984. It was gorgeous as was the entire park. I so love national parks.. love them love them love them and wish i had money sometimes.. so that I could have exposed my kids to the beauty in different parts of the US when they were growing up .. or even have some money now so that I could do the retirement type thing some day and travel to whichever parts of the country i wanted to.. and visit many of the National parks and other things that I have yet to see. I always made had this fun sort of goal for myself.. which was to be sure to visit every state in our country in my lifetime. I realized it was unlikely so didn't make it a serious goal (i'm not real goal oriented as it is.. i suck at goals) --- <--- one of my greatest weaknesses i believe.
Anyway... for now that is all. Just saw El Capitan and wanted to comment on it before i forgot. I have no memory. seriously.. i dont.

14 January 2009 - Mood: Cynical, Somewhat Anxious

I can't stand this thing. I never holds the font I pick. I prob do it wrong.. but I don't think so. Whatever. Okay.. so it's like I dunno, 20 or less degrees outside. I used to love winter. What has happened to me? Well, part of it, I know is the wind. It's so very windy here in EP. And living directly across the street from a river cannot be helping matters. I sort of creates this wind tunnel effect I do believe.

I was reading an email and watching a youtube thingy from Obama and his various ..people earlier on here and felt a bit excited about the inauguration next week! And how interesting that it falls a day before MLK Day. I don't believe in accidents, rather coincidences. No, it's too much .. that our first Af/Amer president will be standing right there at the capital .. being sworn in as our new leader at this day in history (MLK i mean). I am so thrilled for my Mer and Liz that they will be at the inauguration. Although they weren't able to get tickets and it will be freezing i suppose .. not to mention a literal mob scene, they are young so they can bear it. It will be sheer excitement and i would imagine .. (it would be for me anyway) emotional. It would be nice to see them do some sort of volunteer work while down there. Well, Lizzie lives there, but I mean Mer and Sallie and Fran (who i just found out is joining them). They could do a few hours on the Monday before volunteering in some way I"m sure. It's never too late to find something to help out with. Well, i don't know if this has occured to them or not. Should i bring it up? Naa.. prob not. I"m their mother.. I'm not taken seriously. Hell, they barely hear what i say. Especially mer. (No offense to her intended of course).. it's just the way it is.

I don't even know if this blog of mine is totally private or not. Which I guess I should get around to finding out as I would like to be able to type about anything i want but there are just a few people that know i have this, and other then Lizzie, I don't know if those few people even know the name of the blog.. but if by chance they do, i wouldn't want anything taken the wrong way. I am not talking about my kids.. no, just my sister(s) and one or two of my friends.

Well, I have more i feel like saying and there is a TON of shit on my mind that has me feeling anxious as i mention in the heading but... my hands/arms are tired or whatever and dont feel like typing anymore.. at least right now. LOL.. who am i kidding.. if i dont type now i won't be back on here at any time tonite. Mer gets on and doesn't get off. But she's always been that way. Can't say as I blame her. I would be that way too if I were her age and had tons of cool sites to visit on here and people to talk with like she does. But i'm an old fart and other then real estate, dont have much i look at on here.. oh.. that POF site.. but that gets played. Men.. ughh. Why bother? I am really coming to that realization.. They all suck in one way or another. Truly they do. It's just that I hate the idea of growing old alone. I dont want that to happen to me. Just simply don't. Nope.
Okay enough.. later.. :-)

01 January 2009 -- Mood: Pretty Good

Happy new year . ha! Every year about three weeks into the year Terry and I will be on the phone talking about how we thought maybe things would be better this year as we are discussing some bad news we have already heard about a friend, acquaintence or something in the news. Yeah.. so I'm happy i've survived another year, and I dare to risk feeling hopeful that this year might be better then the previous several.

Funny... after i wrote my first posting on this site, Lizzie said to me .. in a very nice way, how it was cute how I wrote about how my blog was simply going to be my diary/journal instead of some of the other people's that i read that are like, written "for" and "at" others, etc..etc.. She said how I ended up saying i wasn't doing that while doing that the entire time. I re-read it, and she was right but I figure, this is basically how i write in my diaries anyway so it doesn't matter and at least i'm not worried about grammar ... or sounding witty and all that shit.

So.. new years' eve 2008/2009: probably one of the strangest new years eve's I've ever had. I don't care about going out anymore for nye.. and haven't in ages. Actually i was rather looking forward to hanging home (this isn't my home.. but whatever).. alone with some little app's and maybe watching a movie or the dvd series that the kids got me for Xmas. Instead.. Nancy stayed in, which she rarely does on NYE, and .. this was really the oddest.. the girls stayed in and fell asleep.. IN BED at like 7 p.m. Lizzie woke around 4 a.m. but Mer slept till noonish today. Amazing. The weather last nite and yesterday was God awful. Major league winds and gusts .. ice snow and freezing temps. Ick. And somehow I ended up running around from 10 a.m. till like 3 or so at the laundromat and grocery store.. all to prep for NYE. What a goof! I mean like.. none of it needed to be done in that shit ass weather as it turned out. I went to the laundromat primarily b/c Lizzie was supposed to be going to some party in New Brunswick w/Fran and Nick and she didnt have any clean clothes .. so figured she'd be all upset/pissed if she didnt have anything to wear. As far as the grocery store.. mostly I bought things to snack on for last nite.
Anyway.. it was stuff that needed to be done eventually .. mostly the laundry .. so at least some of it's done ( i didnt bring all of the dirty clothes) would have been there forever. but we deff didn't need to buy all that snack type food. Waste. Pure waste.
sooo... anyway... as the kids snoozed away Nancy and I sat around in the LR .. her on the comp.. me trying to find something good to watch on tv.. .. which .. oh my... talk about terrible shit on tv!!! I mean ... marathons of Dog the Bounty Hunter all day and nite?? Which incidentally was the best thing i could find to watch. So i got bored after two episodes of Dog and called Peggy. Nancy promptly left the room with a book or something and retreated to her br. Guess she didnt wanna talk to Peg.. ( ha , ya think?). I enjoyed my convo w/ Peggy.. although she did do nothing but bitch about her live-in boyfriend, Michael Jackson. How lazy he is, how he'll never amount to anything, oh.. hell.. i'm not repeating it on here or in my mind. Although.. i can pretty much see what she means. He was also sort of kind of pretty rude when I called. I mean.. this guy has been living w/ my sister, she's been more or less supporting him and spoiling his daughter (she doesnt bother much w/his son so it seems).. for like 3 or more years now... you'd think he could say hello and ask me how i am or say happy new year right? Jeez...anyway.. whateever.. dont feel like droning on about that. Other then the remind myself and say how when Unk met him.. Michael Jackson i mean... he said right off that he did not like the guy at all.. thought he was just using Peg and didn't trust him one bit. My uncle never comes out with things like that so intensely or without being asked what he thinks.. so it was a bit surprising to hear him have such a strong opinion after meeting someone only once. It hadn't occured to me that MJ was a user .. he seemed initially to really be in love with Peg. I dunno.. who knows.. but a 90 year old man, i feel, no.. i know.. when it comes to Unk anyway.. would know the deal when it comes to other men and what their motives are.

K.. well.. i like having this blog to write on. I could do it in an actual journal.. and love journals.. however, my hands would hurt from all this writing and all. Now all i have to do is attempt to remember to write in it daily or near daily like i have always tried to do with my actual diaries/journals.

Mood: fairly good

This is the first blog I've ever set up or written in. I don't know anything about this stuff. It's amazing how fast technology changed (i know that's soo cliche).. but it's the truth. I used to be online like ALL the time back in the early to mid 00's. All it takes is a year or two away from the computer and there are a million things that are different. When I used to be online constantly, there weren't "blogs". My daughter literally had to explain to me what exactly a Blog was!! It's totally embarrassing... but it has happened. I have turned into one of those older ladies' who are clueless as to what you can do with and on a computer. To my credit, I am not one of them that is afraid of the computer. No... instead I will simply try things and end up screwing it all up. (including trying to do my settings for this blog!)

I wonder too, do people actually just look around on here and read strangers' blogs for the hell of it? That sounds sort of boring to me, which is why I do not expect to have any comments on mine. I'm viewing this as diary. A journal. That's it. I know people whose blogs are more like... how do it say it...umm.. well, they are written FOR whoever reads them, even the strangers that may come across them. What I mean by that is: they are writing "to" the world.. writing for and at people. Yes, they write about what's on their minds.. about their lives but the way they write is clearly not diary style. They write with as much proper grammar, "big words" (lol).. and humor as they can think up. I find myself thinking, when reading their posts: Damn, they must have spent more time trying to make this appealing to the outside world then they do thinking about what's really on their minds. Clearly these people are trying to impress their readers. Maybe they view themselves as authors?(Only they can't seem to get published?) So they write that way on here instead and pretend that they are professionals. It feeds their egos i guess. Weird, ya know?

S0... some of the reasons this entry is so very long: A.- I always write really long emails .. I talk too much too. Drives everyone crazy I'm sure of it. B.- This is my first posting so of course it's going to be longer then other's!! and C.- Since I have chosen to view this as my diary/journal of course I'm going to write as long and as much as I feel like. That's how diary's always are! And.. by the way.. I'm not here to impress anyone (did i already say that?).. like the people i described in the last paragraph who probably pull up a thesaurus and dictionary the entire time they're writing an entry! HA! I just had a visual on that and it cracked me up! lolol Well, my daughter just woke up .. yes, it's nearly 4 p.m. so off I go to walk the dog and clean the bedroom. I'm excited because my youngest daughter is coming in tonight from college for the Christmas break!! Yay!!!! Her bus will arrive at the Port Authority at 10ish tonight and then we'll go in and get her. Usually the first night she arrives home from college (which isn't all that often).. she and I will end up staying up real late just talking. We don't mean to.. it just happens and we both (well I know I do, and think she does) enjoy that time together very much. I don't know, but hope we get a chance to talk tonite.

I hope to write less at other times on here.. and also type with more depth to it as well. But then, that's what diary's are like.. ya know? Later ... Scar